And Now for a Little Self Love
Liz Crowe
Ego is a funny thing. We all have one, sort of like we all have a nose, or body hair. Some of us are more aware of ours than others. Some of us spend time grooming ours, putting ourselves out there in positions whereby opportunities for ego stroking are paramount. At times some of us get so used to ego-stroking arrangements, when something happens to pop our little ego-balloon we deflate more rapidly than your average person. It takes energy to be out here all the time, no lie. And as a dyed-in-the-wool karaoke-mike-hogging spotlight-grabbing ham it takes a lot to deflate me. But deflated I get, and it usually comes as a blind side tackle, from absolutely nowhere, when I least expect it.
Just tootling along in life, trying to manage my myriad responsibilities, teaching myself how to operate on something like five hours of sleep, managing the social and emotional lives of all the people who co-habitate with me, making sure no one is unhappy, disorganized, without clean clothes, lacking in exercise, bored, vitamin deficient, hungry, or horny--I am confronted by my own sudden realization of ego smack down. I mean, even blogging is an exercise in ego-maniacal behavior. And I do a lot of it. And this publishing thing-- seriously who does that if you aren't setting your ego up for regular abuse? I’m one of Those Writers with not a shy bone in my body, eager for promotional opps, speaking engagements, interviews and other fun stuff.
But no, not everyone worships me, not everyone's life revolves around me, and there are even some people who can do without me completely, in spite of my own desire to think otherwise. It's cool. I can deal. I mean, what are my options really?
Oh, yeah, self-satisfaction. From the Journal of Sexual Medicine, a no-duh quote to we sexy romance writers:
"Science, this time in the form of the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, conducted by researchers at Indiana University, asked 5,865 Americans between the ages of 14 and 94 detailed questions about their sexual practices and found what any realist has always known: people enjoy getting off. They get themselves off from adolescence to old age, alone or with a partner; and the army of avowed self-abusers appears to have swelled with time."
Ah, self pleasure...it's free, fun, relaxing and better for you than taking a sleeping pill. Amazing to think that there are still people who think you get hairy palms and go blind from a little wank. And I do take issue with folks who call it “self abuse.” When done properly, there is NO abuse involved!
"Among people 70 or older, according to preliminary data from the study, published October 1 in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 80 percent of men and 58 percent of women have masturbated solo over a lifetime. Not bad, but the figures increase with each younger age cohort until we find a veritable generation of wankers, people age 25 to 29, whose lifetime rates peak at 94 percent among men and 84 percent among women. Masturbating with a partner is skewing in the same generational direction, only more dramatically."
As a writer of the sort of material that has a goal of relief via a little "alone time" I for one am thrilled that masturbation is coming out of the closet.
So, stroke that ego…or whatever needs it! I know I will be!
The Tap Room, The Brewing Passion Novel releases Sept. 30 from Breathless Press.
Erin Brady's life is turned inside out.
Her Alpha banker husband, Bradley, has left, claiming she pays more attention to her microbrewery than to him and their two sons.
One business partner, Trent, (The Rookie) is attempting to re-kindle an old flame between them.
Their amazing success has demanded they hire a new brewer, Jeff, (Jockey Box) who takes one look at his new boss and is determined to be something more than an employee.
The daily stresses of running a small business, plus the ongoing turmoil in her personal life are more than she can take. Escaping to Denver for an industry event, she meets Landon, a brewery rock star turned consultant who has been watching her company--and her-- for a while.
When family trauma requires an early return to Michigan, Erin is faced with even harder realities plus a thoroughly contrite Bradley, wishing for a reunion. Then, the ultimate sign of success: a buy out offer is tendered from a much larger brewery, just as the owners of Winter Street Brewing are about to be honored by Inc. Magazine as Top Entrepreneurs.
Finally, Erin turns to her other partner, Owen, who has watched the woman he loves suffer long enough and is determined to step in and be the one.
WHO WILL SHE CHOOSE????
Guess what? YOU get to decide.....September 30,
2011.
For more in depth descriptions of Erin’s options check out:
www.brewingpassion.com/2011/02/choose-your-partner-or-who-needs.html
Liz Crowe
Ego is a funny thing. We all have one, sort of like we all have a nose, or body hair. Some of us are more aware of ours than others. Some of us spend time grooming ours, putting ourselves out there in positions whereby opportunities for ego stroking are paramount. At times some of us get so used to ego-stroking arrangements, when something happens to pop our little ego-balloon we deflate more rapidly than your average person. It takes energy to be out here all the time, no lie. And as a dyed-in-the-wool karaoke-mike-hogging spotlight-grabbing ham it takes a lot to deflate me. But deflated I get, and it usually comes as a blind side tackle, from absolutely nowhere, when I least expect it.
Just tootling along in life, trying to manage my myriad responsibilities, teaching myself how to operate on something like five hours of sleep, managing the social and emotional lives of all the people who co-habitate with me, making sure no one is unhappy, disorganized, without clean clothes, lacking in exercise, bored, vitamin deficient, hungry, or horny--I am confronted by my own sudden realization of ego smack down. I mean, even blogging is an exercise in ego-maniacal behavior. And I do a lot of it. And this publishing thing-- seriously who does that if you aren't setting your ego up for regular abuse? I’m one of Those Writers with not a shy bone in my body, eager for promotional opps, speaking engagements, interviews and other fun stuff.
But no, not everyone worships me, not everyone's life revolves around me, and there are even some people who can do without me completely, in spite of my own desire to think otherwise. It's cool. I can deal. I mean, what are my options really?
Oh, yeah, self-satisfaction. From the Journal of Sexual Medicine, a no-duh quote to we sexy romance writers:
"Science, this time in the form of the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, conducted by researchers at Indiana University, asked 5,865 Americans between the ages of 14 and 94 detailed questions about their sexual practices and found what any realist has always known: people enjoy getting off. They get themselves off from adolescence to old age, alone or with a partner; and the army of avowed self-abusers appears to have swelled with time."
Ah, self pleasure...it's free, fun, relaxing and better for you than taking a sleeping pill. Amazing to think that there are still people who think you get hairy palms and go blind from a little wank. And I do take issue with folks who call it “self abuse.” When done properly, there is NO abuse involved!
"Among people 70 or older, according to preliminary data from the study, published October 1 in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 80 percent of men and 58 percent of women have masturbated solo over a lifetime. Not bad, but the figures increase with each younger age cohort until we find a veritable generation of wankers, people age 25 to 29, whose lifetime rates peak at 94 percent among men and 84 percent among women. Masturbating with a partner is skewing in the same generational direction, only more dramatically."
As a writer of the sort of material that has a goal of relief via a little "alone time" I for one am thrilled that masturbation is coming out of the closet.
So, stroke that ego…or whatever needs it! I know I will be!
The Tap Room, The Brewing Passion Novel releases Sept. 30 from Breathless Press.
Erin Brady's life is turned inside out.
Her Alpha banker husband, Bradley, has left, claiming she pays more attention to her microbrewery than to him and their two sons.
One business partner, Trent, (The Rookie) is attempting to re-kindle an old flame between them.
Their amazing success has demanded they hire a new brewer, Jeff, (Jockey Box) who takes one look at his new boss and is determined to be something more than an employee.
The daily stresses of running a small business, plus the ongoing turmoil in her personal life are more than she can take. Escaping to Denver for an industry event, she meets Landon, a brewery rock star turned consultant who has been watching her company--and her-- for a while.
When family trauma requires an early return to Michigan, Erin is faced with even harder realities plus a thoroughly contrite Bradley, wishing for a reunion. Then, the ultimate sign of success: a buy out offer is tendered from a much larger brewery, just as the owners of Winter Street Brewing are about to be honored by Inc. Magazine as Top Entrepreneurs.
Finally, Erin turns to her other partner, Owen, who has watched the woman he loves suffer long enough and is determined to step in and be the one.
WHO WILL SHE CHOOSE????
Guess what? YOU get to decide.....September 30,
2011.
For more in depth descriptions of Erin’s options check out:
www.brewingpassion.com/2011/02/choose-your-partner-or-who-needs.html
Jockey Box: www.breathlesspress.org/Book/287
XXXMas Ale: www.breathlesspress.org/Book/284
Great post. I love how you segue from author ego to self pleasure to your story. What a trip. Nice to meet you, and congrats on your story.
ReplyDeletethanks Linda! sorry I'm late with this....was editing said Tap Room until about an hour ago...whew!
ReplyDeleteLiz
keep these posts coming... (and er anything else) love it
ReplyDeleteAwesome interview, Liz!! And yeah, we all have egos that get bruised now and then, even those of us who're admittedly humble about our accomplishments. They can take a beating in this or any industry. We must have a strong ability to bounce back.
ReplyDeleteAnd I for one, agree. Its MB has been touted as something heinous for ages, when in fact in many respects, its a physically and mentally healthy outlet.
Great job and best of luck with all your upcoming releases!
Hugs,
Sam
Great post! Liz, I can relate to the ego thing 100%.
ReplyDeleteYou're book sounds cool. I have a little choose your adventure type of erotic short on my Three's a Crowd website. I bet your book's gonna be a fun read! Great job!
thanks guys! Let's just say I'm happy to have the thing BACK over to my editor now...after 5 days of shall we say "Revision Boot Camp" The format was not working. It's much stronger now. and I defy you to be able to pick one of these dudes over the other...
ReplyDeletecheers
Liz
Hi Liz, Great post. I can't wait to read.
ReplyDelete