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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Exposing Myself to the Universe - Non Writing (Very Personal)

So today I’m talking off topic of writing. I might be getting too personal, but after this weekend I have to take this chance and put myself out there to the universe. Before you read any further I want to apologize to anyone I might offend with this personal blog.
I went to my last writer’s meeting of this season on Saturday and a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in months made a huge non-writing announcement.
She adopted a baby. I cried tears of joy for her. She is my age and has never had children of her own. She has two lovely stepchildren but for any mother – raising a baby from birth is precious. My friend just couldn’t seem to get pregnant and fertility wasn’t an option. She felt it opens too many cans of worms.
In some ways I have to agree. Though the hubby and did go that route sometimes I wonder if it’s right. Anyway, during a break I talked to her and she said when her husband and her decided to adopt they hadn’t realized how hard it would be. They had a certain criteria and they weren’t coming close to finding it.So they sat down again and decided kids weren’t in the cards for them. Now, most days the DH and I feel this way too.
We struggle with our loss and still question whether or not we’ll be parents together. DH has no children of his own. LOnce my friend and her husband gave up a baby fell into their laps – literally. No joking. A friend of a friend of a friends kid found out she was pregnant (and very far along) and decided they weren’t ready to be parents. They asked my friend to adopt. They joyfully said yes.
There’s always the possibility that the kids could change their minds between now and November when the adoption becomes final, but that’s the risk every adoptive parent takes. Either way this child lived in a healthy home for six months. That’s not to say the parents aren’t healthy.
Why am I telling you all this? Because I’m putting myself out there. I’m opening myself to this universe like my friend told me to do. I’m telling everyone who will listen just in case they know a friend of a friend who has a baby they can’t care for and need to put up for adoption.
With two embryos left we thought about going the surrogate route. The people in our lives who want to help are either too young or too old! LOL
So here I am universe!

4 comments:

  1. Hey universe - listen up! Amber needs you! I'm going to keep my eyes and ears open for you, love. I know how rough it's been.

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  2. My very best wishes for you! Good luck!

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