Monday Funnies!!!!!

For your reading pleasure

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't  you say?  Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter  This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.       I just couldn't help but sending this along. Too funny.     Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says        No crap, really? Ya think?  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers          Now that's taking things a bit far!     -----------------------------------------------------------  Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over          What a guy!     ---------------------------------------------------------------   Miners Refuse to Work after Death  No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!  ---------------------- --------------------------------   Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant   See if that works any better than a fair trial!    ----------------------------------------------------------  War Dims Hope for Peace   I can see where it might have that effect!  ---------------------------------------------------------- ------   If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile      Ya think?!  -----------------------------------------------------------------------   Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures         Who would have thought!  ----------------------------------------------------------------  Enfield  ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide    They may be on to something!  ------------------------------------------------------------------------  Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges         You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?    ----------------------------------------------------------   Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge        He probably IS the battery charge!  ----------------------------------------------   New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group   Weren't they fat enough?!   ---------------- -------------------------------    Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft   That's what he gets for eating those beans!    ---------------- ---------------------------------   Kids Make Nutritious Snacks          Do they taste like chicken? ****************************************     Local   High School  Dropouts Cut in Half          Chainsaw Massacre all over again!  ***************************************************  Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors          Boy, are they tall!   *******************************************    And the winner is....   Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead            Did I read that right?  ***************************************************