Monday, November 15, 2010

Am I Too Sensitive?

I went into hiding for a bit last week. I promised my editor a revision by Friday and to do that I needed to concentrate on nothing more. I also had two days from hell at work. I worked 24 hours straight, which wasn’t planned. What should have ended at 7:30pm on Wednesday night didn’t finish until 8am Thursday morning. To top things off we had the granddaughter over night. I swear this happens every time I promise to take her. I told my daughter no more when I have testing going on. LOL
T, was good though and slept through the night. Once she left Gram fell into bed for a few hours. It’s hard to believe she’s 18months already. She gives me the stink eye when she’s bold and tells me NO. She also has a fascination with money. She walks around rubbing her fingers together saying, “Money, money, money.” She’s her mother’s daughter!
I was also struggling with a friendship issue. I’ve talked about this friend, the drama queen, before and it seems drama rears its ugly head around my birthday. This friend has a habit of things being ALL about her. We’ve been friends for 26 years now.
Anyway a few days before my birthday she says, so you have a birthday coming, on the 10th right. I kindly say, “No, the 7th.”
The conversation shifts to something else.
As we’re ending the conversation for the day I tell her I’m leaving at lunchtime on Friday for the trip to Salem.
“Have fun!”
I return from my trip on Sunday, my birthday. Said friend called late Friday afternoon and left a message.
“Just calling to see what you’re up to.”
I shrug. So she forgot.
She calls Tuesday to tell me all about her issues. Never once mentioning my birthday. So I figure she’ll call on the 10th and wish me a happy birthday.
She calls the 10th only to tell me how much more the drama has increased. She calls the 11th and the 12th too. Never mentioning my birthday.
She did this two other times in the last four years. Once she called asked how I was, didn’t let me say a word and went into a tyrant about her current boyfriend.
Her birthday is 2 weeks after mine. She makes this huge spectacle about it every year. So the first time she ignored my b-day I didn’t recognize hers. The DH said I was being childish, but I was hurt.
Guilt got the better of the after that and I went back to making a big deal out of her day.
As her b-day gets closer there’s a big chance I’ll be in town, but I won’t be seeking her out. I’m tired of the one-way friendship. Believe me I’m not one to make a big deal out of my birthday, but a little Happy Birthday from someone who claims to be my best friend for 26 years isn’t asking much, IS IT?
Tell me am I overeating? Am I being sensitive?


  1. Being overly sensitive, no. Over reacting, no. Even through her drama, she should have said "Happy Birthday". After 26 years of being friends, it's hard to believe that it was forgotten. Don't blame yourself for feeling what you are feeling. It is not healthy. I wouldn't seek her out either and knowing me, childish or not, I would not be wishing her any birthday wishes.

    Good luck with everything. Take a deep breath and whisper, "Onward!" putting it all in the past.

  2. Facebook reminds me of a lot of people's b-days I know I shouldn't forget. But with a hubby, daughter, parents, in-laws, seven brothers and sisters, their spouses and over 20 neices and nephews, someone's having a birthday every week. It's hard to keep track. My side of he family doesn't even bother to exchange Christmas gifts anymore. We just get together and eat. It's so much easier that way.

    But you probably have a different situation going on with your friend, so no, I don't think you're overreacting either. Sounds like your more her friend than she is yours.

    Hope you got some good stuff for your b-day!

  3. (((HUGS)))

    I'm having the same issues with a friend of nearly 25 years too. Only comes to see me when it's convenient (we live 20 miles away), and one week she kept promising to stop by...and no matter how many times I rearranged MY schedule, she didn't make getting together a priority, even though we've not seen each other since August. This may not seem like a big deal, but when she needed me three years ago, we met once a month for coffee. I needed HER that particular week, and she couldn't be bothered.

    I did blow up at her the last time we spoke on the phone, and that was the problem: She didn't realize how selfish she'd been coming across. Now she's agreed not to make plans with me unless it's a DEFINITE she'll be in town. And yeah, she forgets my birthday too, even though I've only forgotten hers once!

  4. I never remember anyone's birthday - EXCEPT FOR members of my family and my best friends. There you go. I have a friend who is a drama queen also and I get very fed up. That's life. Don't sweat it, Amber. You're okay. And happy birthday!

  5. She's not worth the grief; block her out on her b'day and see how she likes it. I cant believe that a person you've known for 25 years doesnt remember your birthday. She has no problem using you as her sounding board when she needs to vent. She totally selfish and doesnt deserve to have you as a friend. Just my 2 cents.

  6. You are not being overly sensitive. One sided friendships aren't really friendships at all. You are doing all the giving and she's just taking. Not right. She cares about nobody but herself.